Sleep My Child

We turned in early last night, 10 pm, hoping to catch up on much needed rest and recover from these lingering colds. I haven't gotten more than four hours of consecutive rest since well before Josie was born, and certainly no more than seven cumulative. I woke up at six thirty ON MY OWN, no alarm, no baby, no Jasper, sunlight streaming through the window... I had slept all through the night, for eight hours, solid, not even a dream to disturb me. My first thought was: She did it! Josie did it! The miracle occurred: She had slept for ten straight hours... and was still sleeping! I couldn't believe it. So I rolled over to check the monitor. It was off. Oops. I turned it on. Fuzzy silence. I jumped up to go check on her. She roused as soon as I opened the door. Her toes were cold. She did not immediately smile at me as she usually does. I thought I could detect bags under her eyes. My second thought was: Oh, geeze. I let my baby cry it out without even trying to let her cry it out. I neglected her. She was probably screaming half the night and we didn't even know it. Poor girl. My third thought was. She didn't wake Jasper up? She can cry and no one even notices? Wow! How liberating! Now we're talking.