Swimming

This summer it happened. As if I have been waiting their whole lives (indeed my whole life) for this moment, when they return with such apparent effortlessness to the watery realm from which they emerged, when their world suddenly doubles to include everything that is below as well as above, when they can fly. I observed the emergence of this new reality with such an overwhelming joy that it nearly knocked me off my feet whooping.

Josie and Jasper can swim.

Jasper started last summer, but this summer has logged so many hours in the pool that he is truly an amphibian. He dives to the bottom, performs dramatic belly flops, invents new tricks, experiments, plays. He is straight, lean, fast through the water, his big feet functioning as flippers, his feathery body floating with ease. His tendency to become hypothermic mere seconds after hitting the water is counteracted by the heat he generates from constant movement.

I watched Josie take her first strokes yesterday. She probably swam last week at her swim lesson, and apparently she swam like a fish with Peter yesterday in the pool, but he didn't mention it, thinking this was a familiar skill she had developed while he was in Brazil. But yesterday when he called to me, "Watch this!" and released her from his arms to scoop, paddle, kick with such apparent grace under water to the edge of the pool, pulling her head up expertly to draw an easy breath, I couldn't believe it. It happened! She figured it out! I jumped, clapped, yelled, gave her a soggy hug, and immediately started bragging to anyone who would listen. Suddenly my little girl who two weeks ago would cling to my neck with terror if we stepped more than five feet away from the wall of the shallow end, was begging me to go farther and farther from the steps. She would jump from the wall and swim to my arms, only to immediately push off for the return voyage, chasing after toys, insisting on doing it "by myself." She still needs a close eye and hand ready to offer that extra push for air as needed, but she is on her way.

The feeling is similar to their first steps, first words... Jasper learning to read. There is the overwhelming understanding that their world has acquired a new dimension and has been transformed forever. There is no turning back. Equally powerful is the feeling that they are growing up, moving steadily away, needing us so much less with every passing moment. I yearn for, push for and celebrate each milestone so intensely, just as I wonder if I am the fool. I have a feeling I will miss those wet arms around my neck.