Solo Mama

It's the week before Christmas break. Peter has been gone for a week. Four days until he returns. I can do this.

I am combating stress by going in to survival mode. I have hacked my expectation for myself in half. I may be late for school. I may not prep that lesson. I may have to leave early. I may forget to serve a vegetable at dinner. I may raise my voice more often than usual.

But it's okay. Because all I have to do is make it through the week without any major collateral damage.

This is the week of our school Showcase. The night when every class exhibits their learning expedition products from the semester. Since this is my first one, I figured that it's okay if mine is not perfect or profound. The kids have a good skit. They can talk about stones for hours on end (or at least ten minutes). We'll have some pretty pictures to put on the wall. That should be enough. And if it's not, oh well, they (the parents) can complain. The kids have had a good experience. I don't need to show off.

Or so I tell myself. This evening I went to my grade level colleague's showcase presentation. The skit was great. Their work looked great. And then there was THE MOVIE. My colleague had created a ten minute student narrated movie about their expedition, complete with tear-jerking guitar instrumental sound track. It was gorgeous, professional, descriptive. Perfect.

I have no movie. I cannot conceive of ever having the time to create a movie. I have no camera for that matter. There will be no movie at my showcase.

So I retreat to survival mode. The kids are fed. I managed to get snow boots on their feet today. Josie is sick, but I couldn't help that. Peter will be home in four days. I can do this.